LETS RESTART JOKE OF THE DAY

[giversgain]

INTERESTING OBSERVATIONS ON AMERICAN LIFE WITH AN AMAZING CONCLUSION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is GOLF.


AMAZING CONCLUSION:


The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become

[giversgain]

Manure in history



Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported

by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large
shipments of manure were common.



It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet,
but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process
of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas.
As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and
did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time
someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just
what was happening.



After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship
High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high
enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would
not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.



Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come
down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.



You probably did not know the true history of this word.



Neither did I.



I had always thought it was a golf term.

[sponger48]

A report to the captain of a naval vessel comes in, there are 3 pirate ships on the horizon. Captain tells the first mate to prepare for battle, man the cannons and manuever the ship...and bring his red shirt and coat...they win.

Next report is there are seven ships heading for them... same thing, prepare for battle, turn the ship, bring the redshirt and coat.. they defeat the enemy agian...

The first mate asks the captain why the red shirt and coat? He explains that if he gets injured and bleeds the crew would not know and lose heart... they would remain courageous....

Next report comes in.....enemy ships as far as they eye can see, too many to count.. Prepare for battle, turn the ship, man the stations, bring my red shirt, red coat, and the brown pants.....

[Scott]

WOW guiltypleasure, I didn't know that about manure! Very cool!

Here is a classic

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics.

The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist."

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all.

His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

[Scott]

If you are under the age of 18 please do not read this joke!

3 old ladies where sitting on a park bench. Ethel, Marge and Bessie. Just then a flasher runs up to them, opens his coat and exposes himself to the 3 ladies. Immediately Ethel has a stroke. Marge has a stroke also. But Bessie, being feeble and weak couldn't reach that far.

[TemeculaWarrior]

Manure in history

Manure: In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before commercial fertilizer's invention, so large shipments of manure were common.

It was shipped dry, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet, but once water (at sea) hit it, it not only became heavier, but the process of fermentation began again, of which a by product is methane gas.
As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and the first time someone came below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!
Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined just what was happening. After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the term "Ship High In Transit" on them, which meant for the sailors to stow it high enough off the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.
Thus evolved the term "S.H.I.T " , (Ship High In Transport) which has come down through the centuries and is in use to this very day.

You probably did not know the true history of this word.

Neither did I.

I had always thought it was a golf term.

Please refer to the following link...

http://www.snopes.com/language/acronyms/poop.asp

A nice story, guiltypleasure, but I think it might actually be just another pile of Ship High in Transit.

[giversgain]

.............didn't know that.

[sponger48]

teacher asks the students, if there are five birds on a fence and ricky here shoots one of them, how many are left? Bobby yells out none, the teacher asks how did he come to that conclusion, and bobby tells her that one would get killed and the others flew away because of the noise.

She tells him that is wrong, there will be four birds left. But also lets him know, i like the way your are thinking.

So bobby asks the teacher; Three ladies are eating ice cream, on is taking small bites, one is licking and one is sucking on the top of the cone. Which one is married? The teacher blushes and hesitantly says the one sucking. Bobby says wrong! The one with the ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking!!!

[PKWarrior]

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.

The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed" she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.

She did.

He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination.

Motioning to her to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

[TemeculaWarrior]

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks, "Want to super size that for only 49 cents more?"

[TemeculaWarrior]

How many USC grads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

[TemeculaWarrior]

PG13

I came home early from work one day and there was a guy running naked across my front lawn.

"You're naked," I shouted.

"You're early," he replied!

[TemeculaWarrior]

My wife said to me, "I want to make love in the back seat of the car - you drive!"

[TemeculaWarrior]

My wife is really starting to get on my nerves.

I think she is so immature.

She'll come home from work while I'm in the tub and sink my boats!

What's up with that?

[TemeculaWarrior]

Some mornings I wake up grouchy... and some mornings I just let her sleep.